Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
