Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
