that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
