Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
