I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
