I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
