We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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