Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
