Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
