There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
