sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
