My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
sarcasm needs its own font
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
