I will die if light touches me.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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