so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's never too late to be topless.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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