the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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