Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
