will power is for people who don't want to get laid
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
