This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
