Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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