Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
