New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
