u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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