and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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