ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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