what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
