This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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