Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
