Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
