Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Randomize
