just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Randomize
