How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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