i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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