i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
