that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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