i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
