It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
