She is in my trunk
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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