Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
