She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dicks are not precious.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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