I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
