Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
