Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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