At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
