Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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