You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
