dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
