Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
