he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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