So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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