she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
